Four Queens

Artwork by Marisa Jimenéz

It's hard to forget the smell 

of shit within your jeans

Not unlike four jacks, in five stud, 

bettered by four queens

Most folks don't understand 

my squatting anywhere I please

But it's a long walk from school 

with stiff shit behind your knees

I've had such a movement; 

I clearly remember the time

And to make it seem interesting, 

I've set it to rhyme

So would you like more detail 

of this impatient crunch

Which made its debut after 

an all-you-can-eat lunch?

You see, I tried to make it home, 

but I hadn't a chance

For I knew within seconds 

I'd be soiling my pants

So I looked up ahead and took 

a quick backward glance

Then I eagerly assumed 

the delivery stance

I hadn't prepared shit tickets, 

nor a single leaf

Pressure was mounting 

and causing unbearable grief

I had a big job to do, 

but it had to be brief

Oh God, save the overdue piss, 

there's no greater relief

So out it came—dark, hefty, regal, 

and in plain view

I made haste leaving the scene, 

as anyone would do

But I thought of it all day, 

as I'm sure you might too

What would become 

of my man-turd left on the walk?

I could only imagine 

of how people would talk

We've seen lots of things, but 

big, public shit's still a shock

I wondered if dogs might envy 

this non-canine-like poo

Or if kids would laugh and play 

with my thick, pungent goo

Forcing ladies to scoot by 

with an unladylike “ewwww!”

And would rats appear in the night 

for a curious chew?

But mostly, who would find it 

with the sole of their shoe

You're bound to say it's disgusting; 

I know what you'll think

But it's not like I pranced 

down the street, twirling my dink

I'm just an ordinary guy

that's been pushed to the brink

However, this isn't the first time 

I've left human stink

Though I'll never tell of the time 

I had to shit in your sink