One in a Jizzillion

I'm gonna do this, 

I know I can; 

I am the chosen one

I'm brand new (I know it), 

but it's on—my life has just begun

At first I'll cry and babble, but 

then I'll crawl and walk and run

This is gonna be awesome! 

I am so pumped to feel the sun!

My first few hours 

were pretty cray-cray, 

all packed in sardine tight

Though it's happening—wham-bam!—

my goal's virtually in sight

Don't have time to chat just now, 

I be wriggling with all me might

Just passed a swarm of slowkie-

pokies…who’ll never see the light

We've been set in motion, time is nigh, 

he's cocked to do the deed

Imagine my potential and yet—

I'm still but half a seed

Flying solo and passing millions, 

this ain't no want—but need

So get outta my way! Move it! 

I'm itching to soar and breed

For itty-bitty explorers, 

this is the ultimate quest

And with only one objective, 

you'd best summon your best

This load's my only shot, 

so I must be swifter than the rest

Oh…this better not be another 

one of Arthur's li'l tests)

For me it's more than instinct, 

not tricks, but a kind of master plan

Think efficiencies—the competition 

here's worse than in Japan

Avoid build-ups, swim headlong—

no riding z’good-time caravan

For every soul—save number one—

finds a soulful garbage can

Never mind that, look ahead, 

for this is sure to be a blast

We're pell-mell, but I'm on the inside 

track and will not be surpassed

Wriggle-wriggle-rah-rah, 

when second place is as good as last

Check it! I just passed sixty 

million—I'm moving super fast!

Someday I'll travel, I'll fall 

in love—from here it's all ascent

I know I'm special—I already 

rocked the top two percent

I'll learn languages, cure diseases, 

skydive, and learn to surf

I'll just keep pushing till I'm the 

most accomplished sperm on earth

Still herding hard, I'm tiring—

though there's no room for slowing

I'm so excited to hit the mark 

and then I'll start to growing

Just picas from the egress now; 

it's why I can't stop crowing

I'm just a wee thing, 

but my anticipation's overflowing!

Have to focus on the now—

there's no time for introspection

Getting ahead of meself—I just 

gots to blow past this erection

Being alive's a triumph (sweet!), 

just aced the last connection

Can't wait to penetrate the egg, 

so primed am I for this injection

I'll study hard—toil each day—

I'll learn Cronkwright's verse by rote

Make the world a better place, 

work like hell and maybe buy a boat

Just took pole position! 

(Yes!!) I'm in front!!! 

(Perhaps, I shouldn't gloat)

I'm on the verge, I’m almost home 

and thus praying it's not a throat.